those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
