My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
