Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
