So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
