It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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