yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
