Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
