nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
