finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
