Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
