This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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