I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
