I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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