Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
