i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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