a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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