awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
how drunk are you?
Several
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
