It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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