the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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