Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
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