hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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