I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
