You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
