At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
