Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
