A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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