I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
