I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
