I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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