Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
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