You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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