I accidentally burped into my bong.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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