think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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