she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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