Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You were trust falling into bushes
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
