it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
