Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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