Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
