At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
