I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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