would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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