VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm at about main and main street
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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