oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I will die if light touches me.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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