May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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