Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I understand Curling. That high.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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