Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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