I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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