I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
