So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dignity is for republicans.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
