Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
