My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
