We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
